How to have a Bondage Vacation,
Part 2 in a series
Last month I covered some “pre-flight” necessities that any sub needs to consider before planning to travel for an extended bondage scene. Basically it broke down into two parts: Be sure you want to do this and Find a Dom you can trust.
Now that you’ve decided you really want to do this and you’ve found a Dom with whom you have a connection, it’s time to prepare for the trip.
Nothing is more important than clear, honest communication both before and during your captivity. Not only does it help ensure your safety, but it can really make your time with the Dom extremely satisfying for both of you. You should lay out not only all your limits, but anything you are curious about and anything you fantasize about. Not that it’s going to be about you dictating the scene, but letting the Dom into your head not only gives him a better idea of what to do to you, but it really gives him more control over you, which is what you are yearning for anyway, isn’t it.
There are many versions of the “interest” checklist available on the Web, here’s one: http://latches.webslaves.com/checklist.htm. I highly suggest filling one out. They can be quite specific and probably list things you haven’t thought of that might be wildly fascinating or concrete-hard limits. And when you are rating your limits, err on the safe side. The Dom can always push you further if you are reacting positively to a specific kink. Take caution with the Dom who doesn’t want any information about your experience, your limits, what you are looking for. It either means he is not experienced enough to work within and carefully push limits or that he plays at an intense level where there are no limits, and that’s probably not what you want…at least not your first time out.
And don’t be afraid to ask your Dom anything and everything. There are no bad questions. He may choose not to share certain aspects of your captivity with you in order to heighten his control over you. But you need to be comfortable with him if you are going to surrender control. True surrender requires trust. And it’s only by surrendering that you are really going to get out of this bondage vacation what you want…and probably need.
Which brings me to the other important thing about lots of upfront communication. The best scenes transpire when there is no negotiation once you are there, no backing-out, no way out. If you are exhaustive in your pre-trip dialogue, than you can agree to such an intense and real scene without hesitation. Any time I do a multi-day scene now, this is how it is set up.
Preparing for the Trip
Here’s a checklist of some things you should to do before you leave. These are just as important as making sure you have your passport before you head for that vacation to Mykonos.
· Leave the name, number, and address of the Dom with someone. If you can’t tell them exactly what you’re up to, tell them it’s the group leader for a weekend workshop you’re attending…which, come to think of it, isn’t far from the truth.
· If you’re the kind of guy who’s cell phone is permanently attached to his ear, you may want to change your outgoing message, since your phone is likely to be off for a couple of days. This will stop the incessant “where are you” calls from friends.
· Make sure the Dom has all your flight info, if you are flying, and call/text/email him as you get on the plane to confirm you made it on.
· Eat light and healthy for at least the day before. You’re body is about to undergo a lot of strain and you don’t want your digestive system having to work as hard as your muscles are about to.
· On the same note, stay hydrated, even on the way there. Dehydration is the most dangerous thing that can happen and with all the excitement it’s quite easy to get to that point.
· Hold off on cumming for at least 3 days before so you are nice and horny when you get there. Some Dom’s may order this period (or longer) and some may want you in chastity (the CB series travels quite nicely).
· If, like me, you are a boy with an extremely tight hole and you expect the Dom to make some, even light, use of it, work it out for a few days before. Use your fingers or a small dildo or a plug to loosen yourself up and help you practice breathing and relaxing when penetrated.
A lot of this is just plain common sense. Use your head…the big one on your shoulders. If you plan accordingly, you are on your way to what could be a life alerting experience.
Next time: Contracts