RUFF THOUGHTS: Early kink discoveries

crabtrees penalclamsticky

One of my very first realizations that I was different was when I watched “GI JOE: The Movie” when I was very young.  There were many times in the movie where an act of bondage happened.  

The top photo showed my first introduction to what I’d later discover as Mummification.  The “Joes” were captured by this plant/insect like thing and wrapped up tightly.   I remember thinking… “I want to do that!”.  Here’s a clip on YouTube.

The 2nd photo of the “Cobra Commander” reminds me much of the suspension bondage I’ve been put in while my SIRS’ dungeon… except their place doesn’t involve a giant clam.  Here’s a clip of that scene on YouTube.

The full movie is on YouTube but the sound is a bit wonky so I’d suggest watching it on DVD from Netflix.  Might be a fun trip down memory lane if you were a fan as a kid.  

(Also… if you want a good laugh relating to how campy Cobra Commander was… click this  😆 )

Something to consider…

“Periodically I like to throw this into the world when I see an uptick of FB posts revolving around drama. I don’t aim to sound preachy but it’s something I’ve learned that has erased a great deal of drama from my life, and I want to share the lesson:

You needn’t validation from others. You needn’t praise from others. Sure it’s nice to receive, but it shouldn’t be necessary in order for you to discover your own happiness or sense of worth.
Conversely, you needn’t react to people who aim to detract from you or insult you. There is a reason these negative people engage with you, because you react. They feed on it. It’s essential for them as it’s their purpose in life.

Remove them from your orbit by refusing to engage. They will tire and move on. Don’t post about them, even vaguely on social media or in person-to-person conversations. That action, even without naming them, will cause waves that you don’t need rocking your boat.

Posting/talking about their negative influence validates their actions in their minds because they know their actions have worked to get a rise out of you. Deprive them of that fulfillment and retain your happiness. =) ” – BLUF619 on Recon

aid163646-v4-728px-Deal-With-Friends-Who-Stab-You-in-the-Back-Step-6

“How to Revive a Friendship”

This really hit home for me as of late so I asked BLUF619 if I could share it.   The following isn’t directed at anyone in particular so please chill. 😉

 I’ve learned that I shouldn’t have to fight to keep someone in my life. Repeatedly unanswered PMs/text or “okay, hope you are well, gotta go, bye” responses do lead to the realization that a friendship has changed on one behalf. It’s sad. It hurts. But, when one person leaves the table, it just leaves room for another or a chance to focus on others.   

So, what do you do regarding Social Media?   You either smile and wish them well when they reappear in your feed (my southern friends would say “Awww, bless his heart”) or you use Facebook’s “Unfollow” feature or Twitter’s “Mute“.  Depending on the person, it can be difficult to do either.    I find it’s difficult to for me give up on those who were a positive influence on your life at one point.

OR… you contact them on the phone (not text or PMs).  Discuss their absence from your life.  Let them know you’d like to reconnect.  I did this recently.   The friend told me “I’m glad you initiated because I want to invest more in our friendship”.  That about made me cry. We’ve done a lot of things together since and have a long vacation together coming up, too.

I hope my thoughts and BLUF619‘s are of help to someone.  

Love these tights!

Anything by Virus Compression is great. I have 3 of their tights. The tightest compression I’ve ever tried. Even better than Under Armour. (And that’s saying a lot since I sadly own stock in UA).

tumblr_ou4ixczIHq1u752o2o1_500

#TBT: RUFF THOUGHTS: Growing past bad experiences

9389668228_53272b669b_o

Just ran across this older photo from San Francisco around July 2012.   I’m the boy in the Leather Straitjacket.  Another version of the photo in my blog banner above.

It had been a VERY long time since I had done a public scene like this.  I had a bad experience with a inattentive Bondage Top about 12 years ago. That experience sort of damaged my ability to trust others with total control over me in a public setting such as this.  Yet, I still craved this sort of fun years later. Some fantasies just don’t go away.

Time goes by fast and so do opportunities like this.  “Up Your Alley” Fair (Dore Alley) was approaching and I knew this Leather Top that would be attending the event.  He was (is) a close friend that I trust and thought “worst that could happen is that he’d decline”.   Man, it was still difficult to type out the question!  After getting my dorky nervous message… he replied “It would be my pleasure to have this experience with you”.     🙂

That day came and I sort of expected myself to back out but he was great with taking control by making solid plans on when to meet and what to wear.    It all happened so naturally and we had a great time.  This day was very special to me and will always be one of my favorite moments as a Leatherman.  Not just because it was a hot scene with an even hotter friend in full BLUF Gear (WOOF!)… but, because I pushed past the hurt and got to live out a fantasy once again.  

#TBT: My first Chicago Rubbermen party

gallery_93905_wm_37960476 gallery_93906_wm_68809466

I recently found these photos on an old RUBBERZONE gallery that I had forgotten about!    Some of my first rubber.   The Rubber Chaps were from Mr S Leather.   Man, I miss those! 

This was before going out to a Chicago Rubbermen party back in 2007. That’s our first Chicago apartment.  My partner and I had just moved to Chicago.  We were so excited to be a part of a the Leather Community. 

RIP Chuck Renslow

DDhKCR7UwAA2dzh

The staff and board of the Leather Archives & Museum are saddened to hear of Chuck Renslow’s passing. As LA&M’s co-founder, Chuck gave deeply and worked with great passion for over 26 years to save the names and faces of Leather, kink, BDSM and fetish people, communities, and history, and he fought to ensure that Leatherfolk were the ones who would “tell” their own stories so that they might better understand and bring enhanced visibility to “Leather history.” As co-founder, longtime President and, most recently, Chairman of the Board, Chuck has left his mark throughout our institution and touched each of us very deeply. He will be missed.

During this time of grieving and celebrating of Chuck’s life and contributions, LA&M will continue to hold its open museum hours. Beginning Saturday July 1st we will establish a temporary display of rare and remarkable items from Chuck’s private collection for visitors to view In the Etienne Auditorium.

For the next month, we will also have a letter writing station available during museum hours where folks can write letters to Chuck that we will then bundle and give to the Renslow Family. Those who cannot visit LA&M are welcome to write a letter or send a postcard to Chuck and mail it to us via the postal service at 6418 N. Greenview Ave., Chicago, IL 60626 USA. Letters via post only, please.

For those who wish to hold memorial or celebration services, we have created a page containing high resolution images of Chuck and a brief biography that is courtesy of IML, Inc. and with special thanks to Owen Keehnen. You can locate these resources here http://www.leatherarchives.org/renslow.html

In Leather,
LA&M’s Staff and Board of Directors

Original article

GOOD ARTICLE: “Why people with depression should lift weights”

“If you struggle with depression, your best therapy may be to hit the gym and pump some iron.

While the physical benefits of strength training are widely known, there are plenty of psychological benefits to reap too. A Harvard Medical School study found that that weight lifting could help alleviate the symptoms of clinical depression.

The tried and true Harvard study from the 1990s found that the heavier the weight a person used, the more depression improved. A similar study from Duke University found that depressed participants who weight trained for four months, four times per week for 40 minutes overcame their depression without medication.

The Duke researchers found that for every 50 minutes of exercise each week, the rate of depression decreased by half.”

FULL ARTICLE HERE

REBLOG: “Sometimes I Lie About My Depression Because the Truth Sounds Silly”

REBLOG: I’m reposting this blog entry today in tribute to one of my personal heros who died a year ago today. Please, take a moment to read this.

Take a moment to read this Gay Man’s description of the inner struggle many living with Depression must go through on a daily basis.  Even the most energetic and funny person with a positive outlook on life can be someone who is fighting with inner demons. You just don’t see it.  I commend this man’s bravery for putting his story (and face) out there for others to learn from.

 

Someday, I may share my own story but right now I think this man needs the recognition.   I also leave you with a favorite quote from a famous comedian to think about. 

 

“It’s difficult to be strong for others when when you’re having a hard time being strong for yourself”- Robin Williams

 

 

I’m constantly reminded of my own depression.

OK, maybe that sounds too dramatic, naïve, self-absorbed, or annoying. Maybe it sounds downright depressing.

Perhaps a better way to put it would be to say: I’m constantly, randomly reminded of my own depression. It doesn’t really matter where I am. I could be sitting in a room full of people I just met, walking home after work, or watching Beyonce music videos on YouTube (it’s a tragedy, I know). I could even be laughing when I feel it. But I always know when it’s there.

I’m not sure how to describe depression exactly. Does it make you feel sad? Yes. Down? Yes. But I think there is more to it than that…

 

FULL ARTICLE HERE

RUFF THOUGHTS: How chastity affects your mentality

I posted this poll on Twitter a while ago. The results are worth sharing.  Feel free to comment on how chastity makes you feel. 

(Of course, I had to add a little humor to it)