“Do you know those guys in leather over there?”- Vanilla friend
“Do you know those Ladies in Lululemon yoga pants over there?”- Me
— Ruff’s Stuff Blog (@RuffsStuffBlog) May 1, 2018
CONSENT: Kudos to Belgium Leather Pride for this poster. I’ve seen something like it seen it at many Comic Cons (re: Cosplay) but not often seen at Fetishes events. It’s a great reminder to respect each other’s space including our unique fetishes. Just because someone has on Chaps with a red stripe doesn’t mean they want a stranger finger their hole (without permission).
I went to Folsom Street Europe 2 years ago for the first time. Sadly, I didn’t have a the best time. I had just quit my job to later start 2 months of very, very difficult training for a new job. It was pretty much all that was on my mind (along with a recent back injury from the previous job). Both were heavily on my mind.
I’m making a point to go back to Berlin this year and enjoy myself doing all the things I missed out on last time. The clubs, “Lab”, the dungeons… all of it. That’s why I keep posting photos from Folsom Europe. They get me excited for this trip.
What also gets me excited is the friends I’m going with. Two very sexy bondage boys in particular.
This is a photo of me in a barber chair having a forced haircut scene. Does anyone remember the old “Shared Web” fetish sites? Rubbermen, Buzzed Hard and others? Apparently “Buzzed Hard” got a copy of it and used it on their site. I just found it on Tumblr.
Sometimes we have a very bad scene that makes us not want to play for a long while. That’s the story behind this photo. My limits were not respected (in many ways) and I had the shit scared out of me by two others. Painfully held against my will.
I look at this old photo and remember how important communication between players is. Before the visit, I told one of them “I want to be mind fucked” but what I really meant was “I want to be controlled in a strict SIR/boy experience”. “Mind Fucked” was the wrong choice of words. Very strong words the top should have questioned but didn’t. Which led to him not respecting my wishes for the scene to stop even when I said I couldn’t feel my hands. He also made a fake call to my partner. “He says to do what I want”. That broke me.
I didn’t play for 8 months. We lost a friend from this experience.
So, now, like… 15 years later… I look back at this photo now as a traumatic lesson that I’ve learned from and put into practice when I bottom OR top. Communication is key to a great D/s experience. I no longer just go into a scene without discussing it first.
When the boy I played with at MAL told me that he wanted a long weekend of “Strict Protocol” and role playing… I didn’t just say “OK”. We talked in detail about what that involved so that we were clear. I made him give me examples of the kind of protocol and control he wanted. Talking in detail about the scenes we both wanted made my 21st MAL one of the most memorable.
I can’t wait to see that boy again.
“Periodically I like to throw this into the world when I see an uptick of FB posts revolving around drama. I don’t aim to sound preachy but it’s something I’ve learned that has erased a great deal of drama from my life, and I want to share the lesson:
You needn’t validation from others. You needn’t praise from others. Sure it’s nice to receive, but it shouldn’t be necessary in order for you to discover your own happiness or sense of worth.
Conversely, you needn’t react to people who aim to detract from you or insult you. There is a reason these negative people engage with you, because you react. They feed on it. It’s essential for them as it’s their purpose in life.
Remove them from your orbit by refusing to engage. They will tire and move on. Don’t post about them, even vaguely on social media or in person-to-person conversations. That action, even without naming them, will cause waves that you don’t need rocking your boat.
Posting/talking about their negative influence validates their actions in their minds because they know their actions have worked to get a rise out of you. Deprive them of that fulfillment and retain your happiness. =) ” – BLUF619 on Recon
This really hit home for me as of late so I asked BLUF619 if I could share it. The following isn’t directed at anyone in particular so please chill. 😉
I’ve learned that I shouldn’t have to fight to keep someone in my life. Repeatedly unanswered PMs/text or “okay, hope you are well, gotta go, bye” responses do lead to the realization that a friendship has changed on one behalf. It’s sad. It hurts. But, when one person leaves the table, it just leaves room for another or a chance to focus on others.
So, what do you do regarding Social Media? You either smile and wish them well when they reappear in your feed (my southern friends would say “Awww, bless his heart”) or you use Facebook’s “Unfollow” feature or Twitter’s “Mute“. Depending on the person, it can be difficult to do either. I find it’s difficult to for me give up on those who were a positive influence on your life at one point.
OR… you contact them on the phone (not text or PMs). Discuss their absence from your life. Let them know you’d like to reconnect. I did this recently. The friend told me “I’m glad you initiated because I want to invest more in our friendship”. That about made me cry. We’ve done a lot of things together since and have a long vacation together coming up, too.
I hope my thoughts and BLUF619‘s are of help to someone.
On a recent long weekend visit to my SIRS I was given some alone time while they both went to work. During that alone time, I had the task of conditioning and shining 8 leather hoods and 6 leather jackets. Several of them were heavy Langlitz Leather jackets. It all had to be done by the time they got home. I finished sooner than I thought I would I was rather pleased with myself so I sent them this happy photo.
I recently got back in touch with one of my very first genuine SIRS. We shared a few laughs about how many times we have played at IML, MAL and my many visits to his place. He was very influential in my interest in Leather and Rubber uniforms as well as becoming a better submission bondage bottom.
I started looking up old photos to share with him and found some of our old email exchanges. He was (is) quite the adult writer. I thought I’d share one of the emails I got from after I had sent him an email describing a dream I had about him.
SIR “Milleman” is a very sweet, twisted and dominant man. Clearly! 🙂
The Salvation Army has been very vocal about being anti-GLBT, insofar as shutting down services if it meant also having to provide services to GLBT persons. Several years ago one of their Execs called for the death penalty for gays. Not to mention that the Salvation Army has made huge donations (hundreds of thousands from your donations) in the past to block marriage equality.
Also, did you know the CEO of the Salvation Army made $100,000 profit off the donations.
OH! Also, they’ve literally turned away donations from gay organizations.
I’m all about helping others in need, and making donations is a big part of that for many of us. There are many amazing non-profits out there that do amazing work. Please make sure you do some research so that you know who you are giving to and if they are using that money to help take away your rights.
Share this information with your friends and family.
As a rule, I don’t normally post about my time in Chastity because I know others that are locked up much, much longer than I’m able to. I will only be in chastity a mere 2 weeks (play date next week) which is not much to brag about when the Pup I had visit me for MIR was locked for a full month.
But, I decided to share this photo because of what else I’m wearing. One of my SIRS gave me his very well worn older Under Armour compression shorts of which I just made a sweaty and pre-cum-y mess after a long work out. I love how tight they are. Feels like he’s with me when I wear them. His shorts made me work harder at the gym while also getting hard in chastity.
I bought this Rubber Uniform Shirt from Mr S Leather about 7-8 years ago. Then I started CrossFit and my build completely changed. It no longer fit. After running across photos of myself in it many years ago, I think it’s time to purchase it again.
I ran across this GIF of “Robin” tied up which brought back some memories. Like many other Kinksters, the “BATMAN” cartoon and live action TV series were my first exposure to bondage and spandex. I’ve shared this with some younger guys getting into bondage who have told me that they had a similar first exposure to kink but with the “Batman: The Animated Series” as well as other incarnations of “Batman” shows and movies… including “Nightwing”. (below)
It’s pretty clear that having a Superhero Fetish is fastly becoming more and more common.
Visited my SIRS recently where I was ordered to “Pup Out” for them in my Rubber Puppy Hood with attached Blindfold (customized). It’s incredibly comfortable and definitely helps me get into the Pup Headspace that they desire.
I’d been ordered into chastity two weeks prior to visiting. The last night of my visit ended with some fun rope bondage, edging and locked back into Steel Chastity with no release.
Read the caption he has for his photo for a unique perspective on keeping a Body Positive mindset.
Yeah, I changed my diet. Sure, I changed my workout routine. But the single most important change I made was my mentality. Shift your perspective on things. Focus on what you have rather than what you haven’t. It might change your life in more ways than one. *This applies to so much more than just fitness* #motivation #transformation #fitness
Josh Brolin was literally my first “Hollywood Crush” as a kid. If you ever saw “The Goonies”… he was the big brother. He’s been in plenty since. I think it’s safe to say he’s reached “Daddy Status”.
See more here.
One of my very first realizations that I was different was when I watched “GI JOE: The Movie” when I was very young. There were many times in the movie where an act of bondage happened.
The top photo showed my first introduction to what I’d later discover as Mummification. The “Joes” were captured by this plant/insect like thing and wrapped up tightly. I remember thinking… “I want to do that!”. Here’s a clip on YouTube.
The 2nd photo of the “Cobra Commander” reminds me much of the suspension bondage I’ve been put in while my SIRS’ dungeon… except their place doesn’t involve a giant clam. Here’s a clip of that scene on YouTube.
The full movie is on YouTube but the sound is a bit wonky so I’d suggest watching it on DVD from Netflix. Might be a fun trip down memory lane if you were a fan as a kid.
(Also… if you want a good laugh relating to how campy Cobra Commander was… click this 😆 )
Anything by Virus Compression is great. I have 3 of their tights. The tightest compression I’ve ever tried. Even better than Under Armour. (And that’s saying a lot since I sadly own stock in UA).
#Dieing in my favoritie @virusintl gear 💪🏽 and able to push through training through the open fueled by @xendurance 👌🏽 #TheBiggerPicture — 8rft of 5 150 lb #StoneOverShoulder (150lb #Sandbag ) and 12 Cal @assaultairbike 🔥 @hyperfitusa #DoingtheWork — @crossfitlumberyard #LmbrJckd — #VirusIntl #Xendurance