#TBT: RUFF THOUGHTS: Growing past bad experiences

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Just ran across this older photo from San Francisco around July 2012.   I’m the boy in the Leather Straitjacket.  Another version of the photo in my blog banner above.

It had been a VERY long time since I had done a public scene like this.  I had a bad experience with a inattentive Bondage Top about 12 years ago. That experience sort of damaged my ability to trust others with total control over me in a public setting such as this.  Yet, I still craved this sort of fun years later. Some fantasies just don’t go away.

Time goes by fast and so do opportunities like this.  “Up Your Alley” Fair (Dore Alley) was approaching and I knew this Leather Top that would be attending the event.  He was (is) a close friend that I trust and thought “worst that could happen is that he’d decline”.   Man, it was still difficult to type out the question!  After getting my dorky nervous message… he replied “It would be my pleasure to have this experience with you”.     🙂

That day came and I sort of expected myself to back out but he was great with taking control by making solid plans on when to meet and what to wear.    It all happened so naturally and we had a great time.  This day was very special to me and will always be one of my favorite moments as a Leatherman.  Not just because it was a hot scene with an even hotter friend in full BLUF Gear (WOOF!)… but, because I pushed past the hurt and got to live out a fantasy once again.  

#TBT: My first Chicago Rubbermen party

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I recently found these photos on an old RUBBERZONE gallery that I had forgotten about!    Some of my first rubber.   The Rubber Chaps were from Mr S Leather.   Man, I miss those! 

This was before going out to a Chicago Rubbermen party back in 2007. That’s our first Chicago apartment.  My partner and I had just moved to Chicago.  We were so excited to be a part of a the Leather Community. 

RIP Chuck Renslow

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The staff and board of the Leather Archives & Museum are saddened to hear of Chuck Renslow’s passing. As LA&M’s co-founder, Chuck gave deeply and worked with great passion for over 26 years to save the names and faces of Leather, kink, BDSM and fetish people, communities, and history, and he fought to ensure that Leatherfolk were the ones who would “tell” their own stories so that they might better understand and bring enhanced visibility to “Leather history.” As co-founder, longtime President and, most recently, Chairman of the Board, Chuck has left his mark throughout our institution and touched each of us very deeply. He will be missed.

During this time of grieving and celebrating of Chuck’s life and contributions, LA&M will continue to hold its open museum hours. Beginning Saturday July 1st we will establish a temporary display of rare and remarkable items from Chuck’s private collection for visitors to view In the Etienne Auditorium.

For the next month, we will also have a letter writing station available during museum hours where folks can write letters to Chuck that we will then bundle and give to the Renslow Family. Those who cannot visit LA&M are welcome to write a letter or send a postcard to Chuck and mail it to us via the postal service at 6418 N. Greenview Ave., Chicago, IL 60626 USA. Letters via post only, please.

For those who wish to hold memorial or celebration services, we have created a page containing high resolution images of Chuck and a brief biography that is courtesy of IML, Inc. and with special thanks to Owen Keehnen. You can locate these resources here http://www.leatherarchives.org/renslow.html

In Leather,
LA&M’s Staff and Board of Directors

Original article

GOOD ARTICLE: “Why people with depression should lift weights”

“If you struggle with depression, your best therapy may be to hit the gym and pump some iron.

While the physical benefits of strength training are widely known, there are plenty of psychological benefits to reap too. A Harvard Medical School study found that that weight lifting could help alleviate the symptoms of clinical depression.

The tried and true Harvard study from the 1990s found that the heavier the weight a person used, the more depression improved. A similar study from Duke University found that depressed participants who weight trained for four months, four times per week for 40 minutes overcame their depression without medication.

The Duke researchers found that for every 50 minutes of exercise each week, the rate of depression decreased by half.”

FULL ARTICLE HERE

REBLOG: “Sometimes I Lie About My Depression Because the Truth Sounds Silly”

REBLOG: I’m reposting this blog entry today in tribute to one of my personal heros who died a year ago today. Please, take a moment to read this.

Take a moment to read this Gay Man’s description of the inner struggle many living with Depression must go through on a daily basis.  Even the most energetic and funny person with a positive outlook on life can be someone who is fighting with inner demons. You just don’t see it.  I commend this man’s bravery for putting his story (and face) out there for others to learn from.

 

Someday, I may share my own story but right now I think this man needs the recognition.   I also leave you with a favorite quote from a famous comedian to think about. 

 

“It’s difficult to be strong for others when when you’re having a hard time being strong for yourself”- Robin Williams

 

 

I’m constantly reminded of my own depression.

OK, maybe that sounds too dramatic, naïve, self-absorbed, or annoying. Maybe it sounds downright depressing.

Perhaps a better way to put it would be to say: I’m constantly, randomly reminded of my own depression. It doesn’t really matter where I am. I could be sitting in a room full of people I just met, walking home after work, or watching Beyonce music videos on YouTube (it’s a tragedy, I know). I could even be laughing when I feel it. But I always know when it’s there.

I’m not sure how to describe depression exactly. Does it make you feel sad? Yes. Down? Yes. But I think there is more to it than that…

 

FULL ARTICLE HERE

RUFF THOUGHTS: How chastity affects your mentality

I posted this poll on Twitter a while ago. The results are worth sharing.  Feel free to comment on how chastity makes you feel. 

(Of course, I had to add a little humor to it)

READ THIS: “The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness”

Young man suffering for depression

Usually, I copy and paste the first few paragraphs of any article I find important for sharing but this is one that warrants your full attention beyond the first few paragraphs (which are a bit misleading from the title.  

Please… grab a cup of coffee or tea and give this a good ready.  Share the link with friends.  This is a good read that helps us understand friends in the gay community.

“TOGETHER ALONE: The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness”

“Say Goodbye to being a Mean Gay… it’s time to start cheering each other on”

“If your friends don’t shine, you don’t shine, and the brighter their light shines, the more that glow will reflect upon you.”

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“In early 2016 I was at a house party, surrounded by clusters of friends, all of them chatting and laughing. As I moved from group to group, it became clear that each conversation was about someone else at the party, or people who hadn’t arrived yet – gossiping that the happy couple were secretly on the rocks, speculating that so-and-so with the new gym body must be on something, and rolling eyes in dismissal of someone’s promotion, (“It’s not like he’s at a good company”).

I felt on edge the whole night, uncomfortable and unhappy around people I had thought of as friends. When someone bailed early and offered to share an Uber home I jumped at their offer. “You just know they’re talking about us now,” remarked my travel companion as the car door closed, and in that moment I knew two things. He was right, and I needed to make a change…”

Read the full Article HERE at Attitude Magazine