REBLOG: “Sometimes I Lie About My Depression Because the Truth Sounds Silly”

REBLOG: I’m reposting this blog entry today in tribute to one of my personal heros who died a year ago today. Please, take a moment to read this.

Take a moment to read this Gay Man’s description of the inner struggle many living with Depression must go through on a daily basis.  Even the most energetic and funny person with a positive outlook on life can be someone who is fighting with inner demons. You just don’t see it.  I commend this man’s bravery for putting his story (and face) out there for others to learn from.

 

Someday, I may share my own story but right now I think this man needs the recognition.   I also leave you with a favorite quote from a famous comedian to think about. 

 

“It’s difficult to be strong for others when when you’re having a hard time being strong for yourself”- Robin Williams

 

 

I’m constantly reminded of my own depression.

OK, maybe that sounds too dramatic, naïve, self-absorbed, or annoying. Maybe it sounds downright depressing.

Perhaps a better way to put it would be to say: I’m constantly, randomly reminded of my own depression. It doesn’t really matter where I am. I could be sitting in a room full of people I just met, walking home after work, or watching Beyonce music videos on YouTube (it’s a tragedy, I know). I could even be laughing when I feel it. But I always know when it’s there.

I’m not sure how to describe depression exactly. Does it make you feel sad? Yes. Down? Yes. But I think there is more to it than that…

 

FULL ARTICLE HERE

RUFF THOUGHTS: How chastity affects your mentality

I posted this poll on Twitter a while ago. The results are worth sharing.  Feel free to comment on how chastity makes you feel. 

(Of course, I had to add a little humor to it)

READ THIS: “The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness”

Young man suffering for depression

Usually, I copy and paste the first few paragraphs of any article I find important for sharing but this is one that warrants your full attention beyond the first few paragraphs (which are a bit misleading from the title.  

Please… grab a cup of coffee or tea and give this a good ready.  Share the link with friends.  This is a good read that helps us understand friends in the gay community.

“TOGETHER ALONE: The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness”

“Say Goodbye to being a Mean Gay… it’s time to start cheering each other on”

“If your friends don’t shine, you don’t shine, and the brighter their light shines, the more that glow will reflect upon you.”

IMG_06102

“In early 2016 I was at a house party, surrounded by clusters of friends, all of them chatting and laughing. As I moved from group to group, it became clear that each conversation was about someone else at the party, or people who hadn’t arrived yet – gossiping that the happy couple were secretly on the rocks, speculating that so-and-so with the new gym body must be on something, and rolling eyes in dismissal of someone’s promotion, (“It’s not like he’s at a good company”).

I felt on edge the whole night, uncomfortable and unhappy around people I had thought of as friends. When someone bailed early and offered to share an Uber home I jumped at their offer. “You just know they’re talking about us now,” remarked my travel companion as the car door closed, and in that moment I knew two things. He was right, and I needed to make a change…”

Read the full Article HERE at Attitude Magazine

Happy New Year to my Readers!

A (very) quick wish to all my readers for a Happy New Year.

During our 10th “New Year in Gear” Party, my partner (yes! I have one! 22 years!) gave a very moving toast based off the key points below, before we all rang in the New Year together.

“Our tenth NYE Party in Chicago.
Acknowledge a difficult year with a:
Loss of dreams.
Loss of friends.
Loss of family human and furry.
Loss of an inspiration.
To death or to circumstance.

Now we move on to a new year. Learn. Fill it with love. Fill it with brotherhood and sisterhood. Fill it with family. Fill it with hope because without hope all is lost. Look for new beginnings and most of all don’t let the negative win”.

It was very emotional and understandably some of us were in tears myself included. I didn’t know he was going to do this. It’s one of the proudest moments I’ve ever had of my partner.

Granted, you sort of needed to be there to get the full effective of what he said but maybe some of it will inspire you.

 

via GIPHY

RUFF THOUGHTS: Growing past bad experiences

9389668228_53272b669b_o

Just ran across this older photo from San Francisco around July 2012.   I’m the boy in the Leather Straitjacket.  Another version of the photo in my blog banner above.

It had been a VERY long time since I had done a public scene like this.  I had a bad experience with a inattentive Bondage Top about 12 years ago. That experience sort of damaged my ability to trust others with total control over me in a public setting such as this.  Yet, I still craved this sort of fun years later. Some fantasies just don’t go away.

Time goes by fast and so do opportunities like this.  “Up Your Alley” Fair (Dore Alley) was approaching and I knew this Leather Top that would be attending the event.  He was (is) a close friend that I trust and thought “worst that could happen is that he’d decline”.   Man, it was still difficult to type out the question!  After getting my dorky nervous message… he replied “It would be my pleasure to have this experience with you”.     🙂

That day came and I sort of expected myself to back out but he was great with taking control by making solid plans on when to meet and what to wear.    It all happened so naturally and we had a great time.  This day was very special to me and will always be one of my favorite moments as a Leatherman.  Not just because it was a hot scene with an even hotter friend in full BLUF Gear (WOOF!)… but, because I pushed past the hurt and got to live out a fantasy once again.  

“Do I sound Gay” Documentary

I finally got a chance to watch the documentary “Do I sound Gay?”.  As we all know, every gay man has some sort of insecurity. Clearly, one of the most common is their own voice. This documentary covers this subject in great detail with many personal stories from gay men… and straight men.   One theory of how voices develop is based off the people that they are closest to when they are growing up.  I was closest (and still am) to my mother… who just happens to have raspy voice from smoking (yuck).   Ironically, I just took her, my sister and aunt to a concert Sunday night to see my childhood favorite Stevie Nicks who I’ve listened to since I was in my mother’s belly so I’m told.  So, in theory, if I had to, I guess I can “blame” my voice sounding so rough on being around smokers that listened to a lot of Fleetwood Mac when I was growing up.   LOL!

Growing up in Ohio where you needed to have that masculine voice (or get made fun of), I remember and now regret making fun of voices that were not considered masculine or whatever because I KNEW I was really no different than them.   That changed over time as I traveled the world and later moved out of Ohio to Chicago.  Great friendships have been made since then.  I love that now when I hear “Girrrrl!” or “Oh Hey Mary”  I smile lovingly instead of judging so harshly as I did back in my 20’s.   I also now have NO problem wearing any of my Kylie Minogue or Madonna tour shirts in public.

(Except for the one she signed. I don’t want the ink to fade!)  😉

I wish this documentary would have been made about 20 years ago.  I highly recommend it.  Especially in a time where tolerance of others seems to be taking a step backwards.