Something to consider…

“Periodically I like to throw this into the world when I see an uptick of FB posts revolving around drama. I don’t aim to sound preachy but it’s something I’ve learned that has erased a great deal of drama from my life, and I want to share the lesson:

You needn’t validation from others. You needn’t praise from others. Sure it’s nice to receive, but it shouldn’t be necessary in order for you to discover your own happiness or sense of worth.
Conversely, you needn’t react to people who aim to detract from you or insult you. There is a reason these negative people engage with you, because you react. They feed on it. It’s essential for them as it’s their purpose in life.

Remove them from your orbit by refusing to engage. They will tire and move on. Don’t post about them, even vaguely on social media or in person-to-person conversations. That action, even without naming them, will cause waves that you don’t need rocking your boat.

Posting/talking about their negative influence validates their actions in their minds because they know their actions have worked to get a rise out of you. Deprive them of that fulfillment and retain your happiness. =) ” – BLUF619 on Recon


“How to Revive a Friendship”

This really hit home for me as of late so I asked BLUF619 if I could share it.   The following isn’t directed at anyone in particular so please chill. 😉

 I’ve learned that I shouldn’t have to fight to keep someone in my life. Repeatedly unanswered PMs/text or “okay, hope you are well, gotta go, bye” responses do lead to the realization that a friendship has changed on one behalf. It’s sad. It hurts. But, when one person leaves the table, it just leaves room for another or a chance to focus on others.   

So, what do you do regarding Social Media?   You either smile and wish them well when they reappear in your feed (my southern friends would say “Awww, bless his heart”) or you use Facebook’s “Unfollow” feature or Twitter’s “Mute“.  Depending on the person, it can be difficult to do either.    I find it’s difficult to for me give up on those who were a positive influence on your life at one point.

OR… you contact them on the phone (not text or PMs).  Discuss their absence from your life.  Let them know you’d like to reconnect.  I did this recently.   The friend told me “I’m glad you initiated because I want to invest more in our friendship”.  That about made me cry. We’ve done a lot of things together since and have a long vacation together coming up, too.

I hope my thoughts and BLUF619‘s are of help to someone.  

#TBT: Visiting SIRS

50836654368__1CC9D66E-140A-436F-B8D4-230387091F5E.JPGOn a recent long weekend visit to my SIRS I was given some alone time while they both went to work. During that alone time, I had the task of conditioning and shining 8 leather hoods and 6 leather jackets. Several of them were heavy Langlitz Leather jackets.  It all had to be done by the time they got home.   I finished sooner than I thought I would I was rather pleased with myself so I sent them this happy photo.  

#TBT: “Email Cybering” with SIR Milleman

I recently got back in touch with one of my very first genuine SIRS. We shared a few laughs about how many times we have played at IML, MAL and my many visits to his place. He was very influential in my interest in Leather and Rubber uniforms as well as becoming a better submission bondage bottom.

I started looking up old photos to share with him and found some of our old email exchanges. He was (is) quite the adult writer. I thought I’d share one of the emails I got from after I had sent him an email describing a dream I had about him.

SIR “Milleman” is a very sweet, twisted and dominant man. Clearly!   🙂 

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“Dreaming of SIR, huh?  Well if it’s a lucky dumb fuck, it may be able to at least
dream….or is it a dream…the fuck if it knows.  it may be so tired
and drained that it can’t really tell.  Use of it for pain,
pleasure…disposal of bodily fluids…a fuck and suck toy….or maybe
just amusement in knowing it can’t do a fucking thing…including
breathe…without MY say so.  Knowing I am near…or not so near!
Sometimes it thinks it will have some rest…just an hour or so to drift
off…to think…But the problem is…thinking can be very, very
dangerous.  Where will thought bring it?  Will it fuck up what I have in
mind for it?  If that happens, the price can be severe.  On the other
hand, if it is obedient and follows MY orders to the letter, will it be
different?  Just don’t know.  All depends on MY mood, MY demands, MY
amusement.  it is absolutely a thing…and object…disposable at any
time.  But it hopes that maybe once in a great while, I show some
modicum of recognizing it in the most shallow way.  Verifying if nothing
else, that it exists or something just a little more than that.  THAT
would be its reward and it would savor those moments.
But for now, the completely immobile rubber object will only stand or
hunch, painfully, while it is watched, while it hears boots slowly fade
away and hears the heavy door shut.  And its mind WILL go wild with
imagination, anxiety and perhaps even a little bit of hope that upon
return, it will have contact of any kind with a fully rubbered,
superior, controlling,  masculine  master.  Will it be permitted to see
ME as a rubber cop.  Needing to be polished and knowing it would be a
privilege to do so.  Feeling MY fully sheathed cock with its heavily
padded hands, knowing that MY groaning is its reward.  it does exist for
ME!  it is alive for ME!  it…IS….MINE!!”



The Salvation Army has been very vocal about being anti-GLBT, insofar as shutting down services if it meant also having to provide services to GLBT persons. Several years ago one of their Execs called for the death penalty for gays. Not to mention that the Salvation Army has made huge donations (hundreds of thousands from your donations) in the past to block marriage equality.

Also, did you know the CEO of the Salvation Army made $100,000 profit off the donations. 

OH!  Also, they’ve literally turned away donations from gay organizations.

I’m all about helping others in need, and making donations is a big part of that for many of us. There are many amazing non-profits out there that do amazing work. Please make sure you do some research so that you know who you are giving to and if they are using that money to help take away your rights.

Share this information with your friends and family.

RUFF PICS: Day 7 in Chastity


As a rule, I don’t normally post about my time in Chastity because I know others that are locked up much, much longer than I’m able to.  I will only be in chastity a mere 2 weeks (play date next week) which is not much to brag about when the Pup I had visit me for MIR was locked for a full month.

But, I decided to share this photo because of what else I’m wearing. One of my SIRS gave me his very well worn older Under Armour compression shorts of which I just made a sweaty and pre-cum-y mess after a long work out.   I love how tight they are. Feels like he’s with me when I wear them.  His shorts made me work harder at the gym while also getting hard in chastity.   

RUFF THOUGHTS: “First exposure to Bondage”

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I ran across this GIF of “Robin” tied up which brought back some memories.  Like many other Kinksters, the “BATMAN” cartoon and live action TV series were my first exposure to bondage and spandex.   I’ve shared this with some younger guys getting into bondage who have told me that they had a similar first exposure to kink but with the “Batman: The Animated Series” as well as other incarnations of “Batman” shows and movies…  including “Nightwing”. (below)


It’s pretty clear that having a Superhero Fetish is fastly becoming more and more common.

RUFF PICS: Rubber Puppy Hood with blindfold

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Visited my SIRS recently where I was ordered to “Pup Out” for them in my Rubber Puppy Hood with attached Blindfold (customized). It’s incredibly comfortable and definitely helps me get into the Pup Headspace that they desire.

I’d been ordered into chastity two weeks prior to visiting.  The last night of my visit ended with some fun rope bondage, edging and locked back into Steel Chastity with no release.

Keeping a Body Positive mindset

Read the caption he has for his photo for a unique perspective on keeping a Body Positive mindset.


RUFF THOUGHTS: Early kink discoveries

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One of my very first realizations that I was different was when I watched “GI JOE: The Movie” when I was very young.  There were many times in the movie where an act of bondage happened.  

The top photo showed my first introduction to what I’d later discover as Mummification.  The “Joes” were captured by this plant/insect like thing and wrapped up tightly.   I remember thinking… “I want to do that!”.  Here’s a clip on YouTube.

The 2nd photo of the “Cobra Commander” reminds me much of the suspension bondage I’ve been put in while my SIRS’ dungeon… except their place doesn’t involve a giant clam.  Here’s a clip of that scene on YouTube.

The full movie is on YouTube but the sound is a bit wonky so I’d suggest watching it on DVD from Netflix.  Might be a fun trip down memory lane if you were a fan as a kid.  

(Also… if you want a good laugh relating to how campy Cobra Commander was… click this  😆 )

Love these tights!

Anything by Virus Compression is great. I have 3 of their tights. The tightest compression I’ve ever tried. Even better than Under Armour. (And that’s saying a lot since I sadly own stock in UA).


#TBT: RUFF THOUGHTS: Growing past bad experiences


Just ran across this older photo from San Francisco around July 2012.   I’m the boy in the Leather Straitjacket.  Another version of the photo in my blog banner above.

It had been a VERY long time since I had done a public scene like this.  I had a bad experience with a inattentive Bondage Top about 12 years ago. That experience sort of damaged my ability to trust others with total control over me in a public setting such as this.  Yet, I still craved this sort of fun years later. Some fantasies just don’t go away.

Time goes by fast and so do opportunities like this.  “Up Your Alley” Fair (Dore Alley) was approaching and I knew this Leather Top that would be attending the event.  He was (is) a close friend that I trust and thought “worst that could happen is that he’d decline”.   Man, it was still difficult to type out the question!  After getting my dorky nervous message… he replied “It would be my pleasure to have this experience with you”.     🙂

That day came and I sort of expected myself to back out but he was great with taking control by making solid plans on when to meet and what to wear.    It all happened so naturally and we had a great time.  This day was very special to me and will always be one of my favorite moments as a Leatherman.  Not just because it was a hot scene with an even hotter friend in full BLUF Gear (WOOF!)… but, because I pushed past the hurt and got to live out a fantasy once again.  

#TBT: My first Chicago Rubbermen party

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I recently found these photos on an old RUBBERZONE gallery that I had forgotten about!    Some of my first rubber.   The Rubber Chaps were from Mr S Leather.   Man, I miss those! 

This was before going out to a Chicago Rubbermen party back in 2007. That’s our first Chicago apartment.  My partner and I had just moved to Chicago.  We were so excited to be a part of a the Leather Community. 

RIP Chuck Renslow


The staff and board of the Leather Archives & Museum are saddened to hear of Chuck Renslow’s passing. As LA&M’s co-founder, Chuck gave deeply and worked with great passion for over 26 years to save the names and faces of Leather, kink, BDSM and fetish people, communities, and history, and he fought to ensure that Leatherfolk were the ones who would “tell” their own stories so that they might better understand and bring enhanced visibility to “Leather history.” As co-founder, longtime President and, most recently, Chairman of the Board, Chuck has left his mark throughout our institution and touched each of us very deeply. He will be missed.

During this time of grieving and celebrating of Chuck’s life and contributions, LA&M will continue to hold its open museum hours. Beginning Saturday July 1st we will establish a temporary display of rare and remarkable items from Chuck’s private collection for visitors to view In the Etienne Auditorium.

For the next month, we will also have a letter writing station available during museum hours where folks can write letters to Chuck that we will then bundle and give to the Renslow Family. Those who cannot visit LA&M are welcome to write a letter or send a postcard to Chuck and mail it to us via the postal service at 6418 N. Greenview Ave., Chicago, IL 60626 USA. Letters via post only, please.

For those who wish to hold memorial or celebration services, we have created a page containing high resolution images of Chuck and a brief biography that is courtesy of IML, Inc. and with special thanks to Owen Keehnen. You can locate these resources here

In Leather,
LA&M’s Staff and Board of Directors

Original article

GOOD ARTICLE: “Why people with depression should lift weights”

“If you struggle with depression, your best therapy may be to hit the gym and pump some iron.

While the physical benefits of strength training are widely known, there are plenty of psychological benefits to reap too. A Harvard Medical School study found that that weight lifting could help alleviate the symptoms of clinical depression.

The tried and true Harvard study from the 1990s found that the heavier the weight a person used, the more depression improved. A similar study from Duke University found that depressed participants who weight trained for four months, four times per week for 40 minutes overcame their depression without medication.

The Duke researchers found that for every 50 minutes of exercise each week, the rate of depression decreased by half.”