Here’s a fun follow up to “How do you explain your Kink World to your Kink-less Friends?” blog entry from a few days ago.

Great responses. Thanks, guys!!
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Richard: Well, let the old man jump in here….all of you are right as to the experiences you have had with friends or partners. I’ve had in the past boyfriends that were not into this and I have made a vow to myself Not to fall in love with someone that doesn’t share this kind of sexual expression. It’s too much a part of me to give it up and having someone you sleep with not share this is just too much to deal with. So most of my friends are part of this scene. Most of the people I meet are part of or want to be part of this scene… but I’m in a rather unique situation owning Mr. S. as far as who I’m running into.

But what I have found, is that rather then trying to explain in words about what this is about… if someone has the actual ‘experience’ of a scene, even a mild one, they are then in a much better place to maybe understand why we do this to each other and ourselves and spend our money on all the gear. It’s like anything else… it’s not in the head alone as to understanding this…. it’s an ‘experience’ that is much deeper then a verbal explanation.

That doesn’t mean you have to grab your vanilla friend and rough them up, but if they show any inclination to wanting to ‘try’ something… that would be the time to really show them what this is about. Maybe they’ll never want to really do it again, but then at least they might have more of a reference point to judge what they like or don’t like.

I’ve introduced many a ‘first timers’ to a scene… maybe they were turned on to me and figured the only way to get to have sex with me was to let me tie them up, so they tried something they might not have tried on their own or even with someone else. Some found they really like it and wanted more and some found it wasn’t something that worked for them, but they now had a better idea what this was about… at least a little.

At Folsom ST Fair… it seems most of the people ‘watching’ the flogging I’m doing aren’t into this at all and don’t understand why someone is getting up on the cross to let me beat them…. but they are at the fair and watching. I have no idea what they really are thinking when they go home to the suburbs.

But again, like most anything that can be ‘life changing’ the Experience of it is worth a lot more then reading about it or just talking about it with someone.

I also think that most people who are not into this just think we are ‘hurting ‘each other. They don’t know about the deeper stuff that can happen besides the obvious physical or sexual stuff they can see. The addictive part that makes us keep coming back to this is the place it takes us to. The ‘letting go, trusting, or surrendering’ if you are bottoming. The Power rush and Control you feel if you are topping. That’s the part that is hard to explain to someone. You can’t explain how it feels to go surfing if you don’t get in the water.

“MunchingZombie”: What is it about choking down a turd that gets scat fetishists so turned on?

I don’t know. And that is what gives them a scat fetish and what keeps me from it. Kinks are like spiritual revelations: either you have one or you just don’t get it.

“BootBrushPup”– hmm – i once had to try to explain my BDSM interests to a friend/work colleague after she caught me surfing RubberZone in a lunch-break 😀

She had a really hard time understanding why i wanted someone to hurt me, and couldn’t understand that it’s not the hurt itself, but the challenge and His the power exchange, and intense Masculinity (and the physical endorphine high)… i even tried comparing it to her running marathons, or getting a very intense massage…!

Weirdly, the same colleague completely understands my pup-identity though… Where’s *that* at?!?