When I was a young teen, my family moved to a new city (Bedford/Temperance, Michigan) in the middle of the school year (one of the worst things you can do to a kid) where I was thrust into to a very WASPy school. Yeah, it was rough. I knew nobody and they were just looking for a target. What made matters a bit worse was that I was one of those future Gay Kinsters who was discovering he was KINKY… before he discovered he liked MEN. I remember lusting over football uniforms, wrestling singlets, the motorcycle leathers in the SEARS catalog, etc.
Since my parents didn’t pick up on how scared shitless I was to go to school each day and that I didn’t have friends (and my father could really care less), I’d go to the library after school. I tried to figure out my fascination for fetishes. This led me to books on sexuality where they always had a few pages on Fetish… and BDSM. And at the back of the book were the references. Where I found DRUMMER MAGAZINE.
*A lot* of who I am today is by Drummer Magazine. At first, with a Post Office Box, I just ordered back issues with money orders. Got a subscription shortly after. Yes, at age 16.
Each month that I got the magazine, I would have a masturbation marathon. Reading each magazine from front to cover several times. I’d also get on other mailing lists that I found in the advertisements. Which is where I discovered another influence, Mr S Leather. (great article at that link on Drummer Magazine)
I ready today that the Publisher of Drummer, John Embry, passed away recently. While I never knew the man, I read his stuff and wish I could tell him thanks. I learned much from his magazine. I learned about HIV/AIDS prevention from his magazine wayyy before I got any kind of education at School or anywhere else. There was also many articles about the importance of respect, safe & consenting sex, roles and brotherhood.
So, many thanks to you, John. I’ll see you later in that big dungeon in the sky.
-Ruff
* Thanks to Dr. Jack Fritscher for forwarding the obituary.
Enhancing John Embry’s Obituary: “Drummer” magazine publisher John Embry, who has died (1926-2010), hired me as founding San Francisco editor in chief of “Drummer” in 1977. Developing “Drummer” during the Titanic 1970s, we worked on leather articles intensely and then intermittently through 2001. He will be missed. For anyone wishing eyewitness details of John Embry’s life at “Drummer,” check out the book “Gay San Francisco: Eyewitness Drummer” available in paperback at Amazon, and FREE to all on line at http://www.JackFritscher.com. Type EMBRY into the SEARCH feature. Visit this link: http://www.jackfritscher.com/Drummer/ReflectingDrummer.html www.JackFritscher.com
It’s always sad to hear about other members or allies of the gay and kink/fetish community passing, but when you think about how much good they’ve done for others, well, then it doesn’t seem as bad.
I’ve also gotta comment on your bit about finding out/discovering your fetish side long before you realized you were gay. I gotta say, I was the same way. I lusted over bike leathers in motorcycle magazines and enjoyed movies where the characters got tied up and had to struggle to get free etc. etc. long before I realized women were not my cup of tea.