“Periodically I like to throw this into the world when I see an uptick of FB posts revolving around drama. I don’t aim to sound preachy but it’s something I’ve learned that has erased a great deal of drama from my life, and I want to share the lesson:
You needn’t validation from others. You needn’t praise from others. Sure it’s nice to receive, but it shouldn’t be necessary in order for you to discover your own happiness or sense of worth.
Conversely, you needn’t react to people who aim to detract from you or insult you. There is a reason these negative people engage with you, because you react. They feed on it. It’s essential for them as it’s their purpose in life.
Remove them from your orbit by refusing to engage. They will tire and move on. Don’t post about them, even vaguely on social media or in person-to-person conversations. That action, even without naming them, will cause waves that you don’t need rocking your boat.
Posting/talking about their negative influence validates their actions in their minds because they know their actions have worked to get a rise out of you. Deprive them of that fulfillment and retain your happiness. =) ” – BLUF619 on Recon
This really hit home for me as of late so I asked BLUF619 if I could share it. The following isn’t directed at anyone in particular so please chill. 😉
I’ve learned that I shouldn’t have to fight to keep someone in my life. Repeatedly unanswered PMs/text or “okay, hope you are well, gotta go, bye” responses do lead to the realization that a friendship has changed on one behalf. It’s sad. It hurts. But, when one person leaves the table, it just leaves room for another or a chance to focus on others.
So, what do you do regarding Social Media? You either smile and wish them well when they reappear in your feed (my southern friends would say “Awww, bless his heart”) or you use Facebook’s “Unfollow” feature or Twitter’s “Mute“. Depending on the person, it can be difficult to do either. I find it’s difficult to for me give up on those who were a positive influence on your life at one point.
OR… you contact them on the phone (not text or PMs). Discuss their absence from your life. Let them know you’d like to reconnect. I did this recently. The friend told me “I’m glad you initiated because I want to invest more in our friendship”. That about made me cry. We’ve done a lot of things together since and have a long vacation together coming up, too.
I hope my thoughts and BLUF619‘s are of help to someone.