RUFF THOUGHTS: “My own personal Chastity Challenge”

Yesterday, I received my Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage from Mr S Leather. I’ve tried A LOT of Chastity Devices and this one is my favorite. It’s the most comfortable and least likely to be damaged of all the devices I own. I’m so very happy with it. Especially, with the play date I have coming up in 5 days. I decided to challenge myself to wear the device until then (well… they decided). It’s only 5 days (my record is just under 2 months with no orgasm) but I’m very rusty on Chastity play as a bottom. The challenge this time around isn’t so much as a physical one but a behavioral one. I’ll describe below.

If you haven’t done chastity or are an inexperienced Top with Chastity Games, this may very well help with your D/s connection.

Chastity isn’t for everyone. As you may know, it causes some intense moments of Sexual Frustration. Some do not last more than a few hours because their hormones make them easily agitated. Totally understandable! Been there! You want to take it off, throw it across the room and immediately wank to your favorite Tumblr feed. Chastity just might not be your thing. And, that’s fine.

Then there’s my form of Sexual Frustration. For me, personally, when my Dick is locked up over a period of time, it makes me feel more submissive and eager to please. I can honestly say, for me, the Headspace when playing with full balls is truly more Euphoric than any Orgasm.

“Please, SIR, do not let me cum! I don’t want this to end!!!”

The downside of Chastity is that when I’m locked up without the opportunity to see the SIR for an extended period of time, it becomes less rewarding. I find myself needing interaction with the SIR several times a day. I’m 100% certain that I’ve exhausted SIRs with “I’m so Horny!” Text/IMs. (Thank you. You’ve been a Saints).  I really hate when I get like that. I can’t help but to think of myself as “Sheldon” from “Big Bang Theory” knocking on “Penny’s” door.

 

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So, with this 5 day stretch of Chastity, I have to say that starting off, I felt fine. But, within 6 hours I was “knocking on the door”. So, I’m challenging myself not to let myself to stronger and not become “Sheldon”. Keeping myself busy helps. I’m still working out, going to work, walking the dogs and being myself. Sure, I’m horny right now, but, I’m far from hard as I write this even with the Kidney Plug up my ass. More of a mental headspace.

BUT… we can’t ignore that it is most definitely a two way street.

Experienced Tops understand that interaction in the form of Praise, Pics and even Video from the SIR are always required. Tasks from SIR such as Hole Training, Kneeling practice or safe forms of solo bondage can also help the connection between play dates. Cybering and Skype isn’t for everyone but sometimes just seeing SIR’s face live can quell the “Demons” for a while.   Just, you know, don’t forget you have another human’s genitalia locked away!  (Yes, I know a Top that forgot)

Also, there’s the backup plan to help the boy in moments of desperation when the boy may act on a knee jerk reaction to his frustration and remove the device without permission. If you’re both serious about the role play, then there should be consequences. Punishment can come in several forms. The disappointed SIR could deny contact for a period of time. Also, the boy’s violation remembered in a later Play Date. And… if the boy is seriously on the edge of removing it, there’s always the idea of that promise the boy made to video himself applying Hot & Icy cream to his balls for 10 minutes BEFORE he removes the device. That might change his mind. It doesn’t feel great! (Thanks to a SIR on the west coast for that idea).

“Don’t you fucking cum, boy. I swear, you will regret it Physically and mentally (regret)”.

*Big Smiles from both*

In the end, I feel Chastity is all about MUTUAL fun, respect, caring and a stellar euphoric headspace that neither want to end anytime soon. I feel very lucky to have a few caring SIRs I can report to while in Chastity. They “get me” and understand my particular needs and headspace with this sort of role playing. I doubt I’ll be able to maintain Chastity on a regular basis due to athleticism and work place. I’ll take it when I can… and still be quite willing to share my new Chastity Device with some other boys. 😉

 

ALSO– If you’re a Top who can relate to this sort of fun, you are verrrryyy welcome to send me a message on RECON!  😉

 

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How to have a Bondage Vacation PART TWO

How to have a Bondage Vacation,
Part 2 in a series

by “Luckiboy

Last month I covered some “pre-flight” necessities that any sub needs to consider before planning to travel for an extended bondage scene. Basically it broke down into two parts: Be sure you want to do this and Find a Dom you can trust.

Now that you’ve decided you really want to do this and you’ve found a Dom with whom you have a connection, it’s time to prepare for the trip.

Communication

Nothing is more important than clear, honest communication both before and during your captivity. Not only does it help ensure your safety, but it can really make your time with the Dom extremely satisfying for both of you. You should lay out not only all your limits, but anything you are curious about and anything you fantasize about. Not that it’s going to be about you dictating the scene, but letting the Dom into your head not only gives him a better idea of what to do to you, but it really gives him more control over you, which is what you are yearning for anyway, isn’t it.

There are many versions of the “interest” checklist available on the Web, here’s one: http://latches.webslaves.com/checklist.htm. I highly suggest filling one out. They can be quite specific and probably list things you haven’t thought of that might be wildly fascinating or concrete-hard limits. And when you are rating your limits, err on the safe side. The Dom can always push you further if you are reacting positively to a specific kink. Take caution with the Dom who doesn’t want any information about your experience, your limits, what you are looking for. It either means he is not experienced enough to work within and carefully push limits or that he plays at an intense level where there are no limits, and that’s probably not what you want…at least not your first time out.

And don’t be afraid to ask your Dom anything and everything. There are no bad questions. He may choose not to share certain aspects of your captivity with you in order to heighten his control over you. But you need to be comfortable with him if you are going to surrender control. True surrender requires trust. And it’s only by surrendering that you are really going to get out of this bondage vacation what you want…and probably need.

Which brings me to the other important thing about lots of upfront communication. The best scenes transpire when there is no negotiation once you are there, no backing-out, no way out. If you are exhaustive in your pre-trip dialogue, than you can agree to such an intense and real scene without hesitation. Any time I do a multi-day scene now, this is how it is set up.

Preparing for the Trip

Here’s a checklist of some things you should to do before you leave. These are just as important as making sure you have your passport before you head for that vacation to Mykonos.

· Leave the name, number, and address of the Dom with someone. If you can’t tell them exactly what you’re up to, tell them it’s the group leader for a weekend workshop you’re attending…which, come to think of it, isn’t far from the truth.

· If you’re the kind of guy who’s cell phone is permanently attached to his ear, you may want to change your outgoing message, since your phone is likely to be off for a couple of days. This will stop the incessant “where are you” calls from friends.

· Make sure the Dom has all your flight info, if you are flying, and call/text/email him as you get on the plane to confirm you made it on.

· Eat light and healthy for at least the day before. You’re body is about to undergo a lot of strain and you don’t want your digestive system having to work as hard as your muscles are about to.

· On the same note, stay hydrated, even on the way there. Dehydration is the most dangerous thing that can happen and with all the excitement it’s quite easy to get to that point.

· Hold off on cumming for at least 3 days before so you are nice and horny when you get there. Some Dom’s may order this period (or longer) and some may want you in chastity (the CB series travels quite nicely).

· If, like me, you are a boy with an extremely tight hole and you expect the Dom to make some, even light, use of it, work it out for a few days before. Use your fingers or a small dildo or a plug to loosen yourself up and help you practice breathing and relaxing when penetrated.

A lot of this is just plain common sense. Use your head…the big one on your shoulders. If you plan accordingly, you are on your way to what could be a life alerting experience.

Next time: Contracts

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