“Do I sound Gay” Documentary

I finally got a chance to watch the documentary “Do I sound Gay?”.  As we all know, every gay man has some sort of insecurity. Clearly, one of the most common is their own voice. This documentary covers this subject in great detail with many personal stories from gay men… and straight men.   One theory of how voices develop is based off the people that they are closest to when they are growing up.  I was closest (and still am) to my mother… who just happens to have raspy voice from smoking (yuck).   Ironically, I just took her, my sister and aunt to a concert Sunday night to see my childhood favorite Stevie Nicks who I’ve listened to since I was in my mother’s belly so I’m told.  So, in theory, if I had to, I guess I can “blame” my voice sounding so rough on being around smokers that listened to a lot of Fleetwood Mac when I was growing up.   LOL!

Growing up in Ohio where you needed to have that masculine voice (or get made fun of), I remember and now regret making fun of voices that were not considered masculine or whatever because I KNEW I was really no different than them.   That changed over time as I traveled the world and later moved out of Ohio to Chicago.  Great friendships have been made since then.  I love that now when I hear “Girrrrl!” or “Oh Hey Mary”  I smile lovingly instead of judging so harshly as I did back in my 20’s.   I also now have NO problem wearing any of my Kylie Minogue or Madonna tour shirts in public.

(Except for the one she signed. I don’t want the ink to fade!)  😉

I wish this documentary would have been made about 20 years ago.  I highly recommend it.  Especially in a time where tolerance of others seems to be taking a step backwards.

RUFF THOUGHTS: 3 great articles on DADDY/boy relationships

I’ve been missing my Daddy and SIR quite a bit this week.   While I have the ability to visit them 1-2x a month, the reality of not being able to see them again for possibly 3 months due to our work schedules has left me in a bit of a emotional lonely rut. Womp Womp!   This prompted me to Google “SIR/Daddy/boy relationships”.  While both are very similar, I found more material on Daddy/boy relationships than SIR/boy relationships.   

Of course, like any relationship, romantic or playful, it’s all about what works for the individuals involved.  What works for one couple may not work for another so try not to compare your relationship to others. It’ll only frustrate you both.  

Reading several articles today solidified one opinion I’ve had for a while regarding any roles in the Leather Community.  From Daddies, to boys, to SIRs to Pups… if you’ve committed to these roles, always be in touch and supportive of each other’s needs in and out of the bedroom or dungeon. Life does go on outside the chosen roles that we become accustomed to.  It’s not always about “showing Daddy your asshole” (from an article below).  LOL!   

I thought I’d share these 3 links that I found to be inspiring and fun.   They gave me a big much needed smile today.  🙂         

(I’ll have to do another entry on SIR/boy relationships very soon!)

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DADDY/BOY: LOVE, POWER AND MASCULINITY

Of all the role-playing scenarios that excite the gay male imagination (master/slave, coach/athlete, cop/civilian, doctor/patient, big brother/little brother), surely none is more potent than daddy/boy. The energy that gets activated between two men when one of them says “Show Daddy your butthole” is so deep, profound, and erotic that we can only call it mythological. The interplay of strong, protective daddy with adoring, obedient boy uniquely combines love, power, and masculinity in a way that Carl Jung, visiting his local leather bar, would call archetypal, meaning that it goes with the territory of being human. It’s not that everybody is turned on by daddy/boy fantasies, but we can all locate ourselves along the spectrum of being, having, or wanting a good Daddy.

Read the full article HERE

 

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6 TIPS FOR BEING THE BEST DADDY FOR YOUR BOY (part one)

Intergenerational relationships are nothing new. We’ve been dating in and out of our age brackets since forever.

But in recent years, something’s changed: gays have been getting even better at dating much younger or much older guys. In decades past, because of the closet and social stigma, it used to be far more common for older/younger pairings to have a creepy power dynamic in which one or both parties were taking advantage of each other.

Read the full article HERE

 

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6 PRO TIPS FOR BEING A GOOD DADDY’S BOY (part two)

Previously, Queerty’s given the daddies among us some tips for being good to their boys. Now it’s time to flip that, and talk to the young ones.

So, hey, kids. Good for you, you’ve figured out something that most gays take decades to realize: experience is sexy, and smart older guys can teach you things you never knew you never knew. (That’s a quote fromPocahontas. It’s a movie. It came out the year you were born.)

Read the full article HERE

LOL!

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This happened to me once while in Hawaii. My boy’s collar did not react well to the ocean’s saltwater. The lock froze shut in a sense. A quick trip to Home Depot along with some laughter and we were all set. Many memories were made on that trip.

Wise words from SIR Dart

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So somebody did you wrong and you’re legitimately hurt. Posting it on social media attracts an audience that will enjoy seeing you that way

— Dart (@DartsDomain) August 28, 2016

 

Fact is, we’ve all done it at some point. It’s a harder lesson for some to learn and even when we’ve learned from it we occasionally slip up.

Recognizing your own mistakes and learning to forgive is part of being a good human.  🙂

Great Quote

“It would actually be healthier–and it would bring you greater relief–to face what’s upsetting you, acknowledge it, and find a way to deal with it. Pretending you don’t have a problem will only make the problem bigger. Dealing with it will help you move beyond it”. – A friend’s Horoscope for the day

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#TBT

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Here’s a “Throwback Thursday” photo from about 9-10 years ago. We had just moved to Chicago a few months prior. This was about the time I started exploring my dominant side. While in my first Leather Cop Uniform, I put this boy in a leather racing suit, locking Bondage Mitts and the Bishop’s Head Harness you see in the photo. He’d been instructed not to get off for a few days prior and was very frustrated when I wouldn’t let him rub himself through the leather.

I love how this photo turned out and has recently made the rounds on Tumblr. 

RIP David Bowie

“When you grow up being a little weird, you look up to other people who are weird, especially the ones the whole world seems to love. You start to view your weirdness as a gift and not a curse”

“Oh no love! you’re not alone
You’re watching yourself but you’re too unfair
You got your head all tangled up but if I could only make you care
Oh no love! you’re not alone
No matter what or who you’ve been
No matter when or where you’ve seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I’ve had my share, I’ll help you with the pain
You’re not alone
Just turn on with me and you’re not alone
Let’s turn on with me and you’re not alone
Let’s turn on and be not alone
Gimme your hands cause you’re wonderful”

“Thanks, man. You were really, really wonderful too. I’ll miss you”

I’ve been trying most of today to formulate words to describe how I feel about the loss of David Bowie.   One of my favorite fellow “weird” friends really nailed it.