I’ve gone to Universal Studio’s Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando four times now. What they do is professional decorate the park with haunted areas and lots of costumed people and also include 8 movie studio warehouse size Haunted Houses. When I say PROFESSIONAL… I mean they go all out. It’s professional movie make up on the costumed people and the haunted houses are very well done usually themed after a recent scary movie.  My favorite is all the zombie military men they had around the park running up to people and scaring the crap out of them with fake chainsaws (leaf blowers). So much fun to sit and watch people scream and run from them.

This year, out near THE MUMMY ride, there was “THE MACHINE”. It was some demented guy yelling at the crowd how we needed to worship the machine and that he was going to sacrifice the young sinner to the machine below him that was grinding up human flesh and squirting it (water) out at the audience. It was very odd. But, as you can imagine, we had to walk by the show like a billion times to see the hot guy in chains being slapped, hair yanked and humiliated.

Last week, I drove from Chicago, IL to Toledo Ohio to see my family.  My Sister was scheduled to have Twins and I really wanted to be there for her. Mostly to keep my neurotic mother at bay. (I seriously considered dropping a Xanax in her coffee at one point).   The delivery went great.  Less than an hour really.  Got to see her and hold the babies.  Beautiful.    

Of course, not cute enough to make me want any. I’ll stick to the four legged kind.  And the kind that occasionally like pretend to be 4 legged animals.


Before she went into delivery, we said something to each other that we never say to each other… “I LOVE YOU”.   When I left for Chicago,  we said it again to each other.  Kinda laughing at each other as we said it.  Usually, we say stuff like… “Did you fart?  Because you smell like Ass today.”  She’s very much Chelsea Handler except just a wee less slutty.

So, I had already made the 5 hour drive home only to find out the next day that  my Sister did *NOT* recover well from the C-Section.  Internal bleeding. Coughing up blood. She only left the ICU hours ago, nearly 5 days later.  And the babies are doing great. Very hungry. Healthy.   We nearly lost her.  It was some scary shit, man. I was a mess.

During the scary time of nearly loosing her, I went to my other half telling him what was going on.  He was there for me as always. Holding me, tell me how much I was loved by him, my family and friends.  I feel incredibly lucky.


So, if I get any Birthday Wish today, it’s that YOU tell the people in your lives that you LOVE them.   Seriously, it’s really important.  Even the ones you don’t normally say that sort of thing to, let them know. It might be awkward.  You might catch the other person off guard and not get the sentiment returned. And you might both laugh but… it’s important.  At the risk of sounding cliche, you never know when you’re going to loose that chance and you do not want to regret it later. 

When I was a young teen, my family moved to a new city (Bedford/Temperance, Michigan)  in the middle of the school year (one of the worst things you can do to a kid) where I was thrust into to a very WASPy school.  Yeah, it was rough. I knew nobody and they were just looking for a target.    What made matters a bit worse was that I was one of those future Gay Kinsters who was discovering he was KINKY… before he discovered he liked MEN.  I remember lusting over football uniforms, wrestling singlets, the motorcycle leathers in the SEARS catalog, etc.


Since my parents didn’t pick up on how scared shitless I was to go to school each day and that I didn’t have friends (and my father could really care less), I’d go to the library after school.  I tried to figure out my fascination for fetishes.  This led me to books on sexuality where they always had a few pages on Fetish… and BDSM.   And at the back of the book were the references.   Where I found DRUMMER MAGAZINE.

*A lot* of who I am today is by Drummer Magazine.  At first, with a Post Office Box, I just ordered back issues with money orders.  Got a subscription shortly after.  Yes, at age 16.  

Each month that I got the magazine, I would have a masturbation marathon.  Reading each magazine from front to cover several times.   I’d also get on other mailing lists that I found in the advertisements.  Which is where I discovered another influence, Mr S Leather. (great article at that link on Drummer Magazine)


I ready today that the Publisher of Drummer, John Embry, passed away recently.   While I never knew the man, I read his stuff and wish I could tell him thanks.   I learned much from his magazine.  I learned about HIV/AIDS prevention from his magazine wayyy before I got any kind of education at School or anywhere else. There was also many articles about the importance of respect, safe & consenting sex, roles and brotherhood.     

So, many thanks to you, John.  I’ll see you later in that big dungeon in the sky.


-Ruff

* Thanks to Dr. Jack Fritscher for forwarding the obituary.

Enhancing John Embry’s Obituary: “Drummer” magazine publisher John Embry, who has died (1926-2010), hired me as founding San Francisco editor in chief of “Drummer” in 1977. Developing “Drummer” during the Titanic 1970s, we worked on leather articles intensely and then intermittently through 2001. He will be missed. For anyone wishing eyewitness details of John Embry’s life at “Drummer,” check out the book “Gay San Francisco: Eyewitness Drummer” available in paperback at Amazon, and FREE to all on line at http://www.JackFritscher.com. Type EMBRY into the SEARCH feature. Visit this link: http://www.jackfritscher.com/Drummer/ReflectingDrummer.html www.JackFritscher.com

Can anyone recommend a website that has a variety of Pins/Badges for a Master Cap?    You’d think this would be an easy search.    (It’s not for me, it’s a Gift for a SIR)


Throw me an email.

A *BIG THANKS* goes out to those a group of readers that  graciously took photos from my Recon profile and made Banners for my blog. I know there’s still a couple guys still working on one, too.


I’m having a very hard to decide picking out which one to use so I’m going to share a few of them here and just change it up a bit over time. Again, I appreciate your efforts. Thank You for making me look all Shiny and “Purty”.

Which one do YOU like?    Email me.

I’m very comfortable with acknowledging what I’m good at and not good at. I’m a good friend, good at taking care of my body, good dancer, good at making people laugh….


…. but I am NOT good at photoshop.


Anybody want to make me a new Banner for my Blog? I would email you a bunch of photos to work with. 

I’d be happy to reward you with something from my Gym bag, music library or unwanted gear collection. 

RFFSTFF1 at yahoo dot com

A very Hot ‘n’ Eager boy sent me this photo (along with many others). At first, I thought it was ridiculous.

Then I got a hard on the size of Florida…

A while ago, a reader gave me a blog entry to post with the subject of people “Outing” others that are into Kink. There was a situation at a bar during a silly showtunes night where this guy started pointing out people at the bar that were on Recon/Gear Fetish/Rubberzone. It wasn’t enough that he pointed them out, but he was telling random non-kinky people the screen names of those present. The ironic part is this guy “outing” people had his own very unique fetish that he wasn’t sharing with the people he was gossiping with. Thankfully, most people at a Showtunes night were responding with “What’s a Recon?”.

This caused a lot of frustration and anxiety for some but in the end nobody was harmed(except for the gossiper who alienated himself from those friends). Of course, the potential was there for disaster since this is truly a small world. Especially, with the way networking sights like Facebook work.

So, today, I find out that a friend of ours, who is just recently figuring out things for himself, was the target of another “outing”… by a guy who is NOT kinky (well, so he says)… but knows me and mutual friends are. I’m intensely loyal of my friends and …Man, I got SO pissed. I know the person was just trying to piece things together (“Just how do you know “Joe”? And how does he know “Scott?””) but he was was also telling them “Oh, you know they have varied interests, right?” not knowing the mutual friend he was gossiping to also has the same “varied interests”. The mutual friend didn’t respond leaving the non-kinky guy wondering.

Really. Mind your own fucking business, Queen. Get a life.

There’s a certain amount of RESPECT should (MUST) be observed when a person is coming out of the closet. I don’t think Non-Kinky people get that the same kind of respect should be used when your friend is “Coming Out Kinky”. I’m guessing it’s a mixture of boredom & jealousy. There’s enough confusion as it is with just coming out of the closet. Discovering Kink and getting into the scene is also difficult from all the taboos, rumors and misconceived preconceptions of what The Scene is all about. You go through the same questioning of yourself… and your friends (who can I trust?).

Fortunately, the friend told he was like “What the fuck Ever”. At first, he was concerned, but then he just laughed at the gossip monger. Which is what he probably should do. It’s best to just leave the Queen wondering. He knows he has a group of new friends that support him and will be there to listen/help in anyway we can. Yeah, what the fuck ever.

BTW- For the record, I hate the phrase “The Scene”. LOL!

There’s 2 different Kink Related events going on tonight within walking distance of my place. They pressure to make an appearance at both is obvious and was even “expected”. If only to support my friends. And, yes, of course, it’d be fun to gear up and be around others who also enjoy being geared up, hot ‘n’ sweaty in a small bar. But, after thinking about all the traveling and events I attend, I started to feel *REALLY* torn between being at THREE different events of interest tonight.

In the past, I’ve felt compelled to be at each Kink event that I could possibly be at. “The Leather Circuit” as many call it. Found myself running to Detroit, Chicago, Cleveland, Toronto, San Francisco, DC, Lincoln (Nebraska! I KNOW! Ha!) and other cities all throughout the year where I’d see the same people running in the same circuit. In the past few years, I noticed something… people were getting burnt out at these events. Many just lived and breathed their “gig” to a point that it made them miserable, somewhat bitter and generally not fun to be around. Some stopped going all together. Even when it’s local events. I do not want to become like that.

I caught up with many of them on Facebook & YIM. They all kept in the Scene in some way. They were still playing. Still dirty Mofo’s. They all had one thing in common. Outside of the planning an event, volunteering for charities & other events they were involved in, they all developed hobbies and a life outside of the Scene.

I don’t want to say I got burnt out, (far from it, look at my 2010 event schedule) but, ya know, there is more to life than living and breathing one particular thing. I thank my buddy, Jack, for telling me earlier tonight “Tell em’ Jack said it was okay for you to go the Kylie Minogue CD release party and not the local Kink Events”. LOL! And, because Jack is one of the few people I call “SIR” and mean it, my friends will not see me tonight.

Sooooo… tonight, YUP! Instead of putting on that really sexy new Rubber Uniform I bought from Mr. S Leather at IML, I *AM* going to that Kylie Minogue “Aphrodite” album release party.

But, I am gonna wear a Rubber Jock underneath my clothes. Kylie would approve!

UPDATE: I made the right decision. Tonight… was amazing. Can’t stop smiling.

I got this great email below from a Reader that I wanted to share with everyone. It brings up a fantastic topic. Being “Kinky Outed”. Please give this a read and tell me what you think.

-Ruff
————————

Over the last several years as more people have found themselves in the kink scene I have been witness to or been involved in several instances of people being “kinky outed” for lack of a better way to describe it.

My first experience with this was several years ago with a good friend who went to Folsom Fair East. He found himself involved in an impromptu spanking demo tied to a spanking bench. Unknown to him an acquaintance from his hometown had taken pictures of the spanking on his digital camera. Well a few weeks later while I was visiting my friend he took me to a non-leather gay bar he likes to frequent. The “acquaintance” happened to be there and came up to us with a shitty grin on his face. He says to my friend “guess what I have….” and proceeds to show the spanking pictures from his camera to everyone at the bar! Embarrasment and hurt feelings followed.

My second and third experience are really similar but with different people, which leads me to think it might happen a lot. Both instances I was out at a non-kink bar and ran into a kink friend. Someone else my friend knows is there and the customary introduction occurs. The friend I know introduces the other person as “_____ from Gearfetish”, “or _____ from Bondage Control.” Both times this happened I noticed the person who was being introduced to me face go pale. The first time it happend the person was with his sister, and the second time the person was with a co-worker, and neither were about their fetishes.

As I find myself becoming more and more comfortable with all the things I’m into, I can understand how it is easy to lose perspective that not everyone is as ready to announce what they are into.

When the online world meets the real word I think it is important to remember that some might still be coming to terms with their darker side, and some might just want to leave it to themselves to decide who knows what about their kinky life.

Earlier this week I returned from 3 weeks of training in a Hick Suburb of Indianapolis for work. 3 weeks in a hotel and classroom away from my dungeon and anything kinky. My only lead for some kink fun wouldn’t return my messages once I got there.

Granted, I am always up for some BDSM/fetish fun, but since I was gone for so long I found myself to be much, much hornier for intense kink. Like, in my free time, it was all I thought about. It kept me going. In particular, I craved bottoming time for an INTENSE BDSM scene, which I have arranged in a couple hours.

I want to be broken. I feel I need it.

Question for you fellow Kinksters out there. Do you find that when you are “Kink Deprived” for a long period of time, your desires are Darker (more intense)?

Secondly, looks like I will be making the commute for work between Chicago and Atlanta for the next 4-6 months. So, if you see me out and about, say hello. Can’t say that I know a great deal of people down in Hotlanta.

But I’m gonna work on that.

-Ruff

Needless to say, over the last year we have received a very, very warm welcome to Chicago by old and new friends.

At first, we agreed to keep it small because there’s no way we could possible house everyone at our new duplex for a NYE party. Not like other parties we have been to this year in Chicago (and previous years) where it was wall to wall people in a condo/apt. But, you know, you just can’t turn a blind eye on your your extended family when they’ve been deeply involved with your move to a new city. You have to invite them all. Many of them didn’t have plans this year and the more I thought about it, they really don’t mind being in close quarters to each other so it’d be okay if our place was packed. I mean, hello! We spent the last year with them going to IML, MAL, MIR, halloween parade/parties, movies, 6 Flags, dinner parties, dinners, concerts… and don’t forget those numerous nights of consuming slushies at Sidetrack(s)… and sobering up afterwards at Clark’s on Belmont.

So, the small poorly conceived idea for a small NYE party snowballed from there. Fuck It. Invite anyone that didn’t have plans. Although, some did change their plans to be here because they liked the theme and heard there would be bound boys in straitjackets involved.

So, the small gathering turned rather large… and it worked out GREAT. They were upstairs. They were downstairs. They were in the playroom. Playful bondage encouraged but no Buttsex as we were not about to clean up anybody’s Santorum the next day. The theme of the night was “New Year in Gear”. Everyone came dressed in (or changed into) fetish attire of some sort whether it was Football Uniforms, Soccer Gear, Leather, Motorcycle gear, etc. To add to the theme, my husband mummified “hickboy” to use as a serving platter for veggies and dip. He was there a good 3-4 hours.

“WhtBraces” made anyone who came without gear on to strip of their clothes and then he auctioned off their underwear. “Mayor Mc Cheesecake” was holding court once again. Gawd, love him. Oh, and his husband wouldn’t stop grabbing my nipples so I punched him in his pace maker. (JK!) He did a fun and touching entry about his trip on his LJ.

I spent part of the day putting together a DVD slideshow of all the photos I took (or stole! LOL!) in 2007. The photos were of outings, events and inside jokes that party goers would recognize. It was a BIG hit. All 600 photos… and video!

Just before the ball dropped (no pun intended) we followed a tradition shown to us a friend which is giving away a lottery ticket to wish everyone good luck in 2008.

And then, my husband made a very moving speech that got him all choked up. It went something like this:

“We would like to thank you all for coming to our home to celebrate the new year. We know many of you came from very far away to be with us to night. (Somebody yells “Schaumburg!”) You may have noticed that earlier tonight, Ruff put up an updated frame of Ticket Stubs on our bathroom wall. As I was looking at the updates, I realized how many of them were from events within the last year…. and how so many of you were AT the events with us. This is something we have always wanted while living in Toledo. Loving friends…. FAMILY. So, we’d like to toast to you… our friends and family…. new and old… who made our first year in Chicago a very warm and loving experience. We love you guys. Toast. Happy New Year”.

I love my man.

What a great start to a New Year.

As people left, they all asked the same thing…. “You ARE having one again next year, right?”.

Hmmm…


UPDATE: 4 “New Year in Gear” Parties later, the “No Buttsex” rule has been abolished.  Especially, after a certain friend who got fisted stayed around until 4am to help clean up the party.    *HUG!!!*